This past week, without having the rush of appointments while we wait for Alice’s blood counts to increase before her next round of treatment, we had a normal return to the house. No appointments for the week. No visits to the hospital for 7 days. It was the first time we have experienced this kind of calm since Alice’s diagnosis. It was great to see Alice’s energy return. Her amazing teacher came and did a homeschool session on Saturday morning, and Alice was looking forward to it all morning. She was so happy playing with her sisters and the neighbours on the weekend. Lily made a fort that the kids were calling a motorhome, and they we travelling all the way to South Africa from Thailand? Sure!
But with the new quiet, the mind no longer has the distractions of all the appointments to keep itself busy. It has time to think. And dwell. And go places that aren’t always helpful, but perhaps are necessary to go, to get through to the other side. It wasn’t necessarily the best weekend for me, but they will come, I’m sure. And from what I’m learning, it’s ok to hold different feelings in your heart at the same time.
Now we head off to the hospital, early in the morning Monday, and hopefully get her next round of treatment started today. Wish us luck.